Part of the MBSR class I recently wrapped up included a full day of silence. We spent a beautiful, sunny Saturday silently meditating, noticing, feeling, just...being. I was admittedly anxious when I found out this was a portion of the class, wondering how on Earth I'd accomplish a day of silence. I talk a lot. To others. And if no one else is around, to myself. Whether it's out loud or not, my brain is constantly talking, thinking.....going.
Don't get me wrong, I definitely don't hate silence. I can very much indulge (and enjoy) in the luxurious moments of silence that ebb and flow throughout my life. But planned silence, a whole day, woof. I was excited, but I wasn't sure what to expect. My only expectation was that it would be challenging.
It wasn't. It actually was incredibly fulfilling. I had never realized how much of my talking, thinking, was spent to fill a moment because I thought I had to, out of obligation. I thought speaking was the expectation. I've grown up with the expectation to have answers, to comfort or care for others, a constant monitoring of myself and essentially giving a play by play as I do.
In some way, we’re almost always monitoring - and almost always there’s a gap between where we think we should be and what we’re really experiencing.
One of the goals of silence is really to spend more time noticing. What's the difference? Well to me, noticing is being present, being mindful. Monitoring is noticing, but adding judgment. Monitoring involves a narrative, and more often than not that tends to be negative, because that's how our brains are wired.
Below is a TedTalk from Nick Seaver, a gentleman who spent 18 months on a silent retreat. His takeaways are profound, but not all that different than those who spend a day in silence. Rather, those takeaways seem to become more steadfast in his lifestyle.
I look forward to spending more time in silence, creating an inner calm achieved through letting go. I even hope to incorporate a day of silence once a month into my self-care routine. In Buddhism this is referred to as Noble Silence, and I encourage you to explore the idea and consider incorporating more silence into your routine.
The Gift of Silence | Nick Seaver | TEDxBeaconStreet
LINKS TO CLICK :)
Assassins is a documentary that involves familial bonds, power, immigration, the CIA, prank shows and a lens into the Malaysian "justice" system. It's also about the death of Kim Jong-Nam, Kim Jong-Un's older brother. It's $5 on AppleTV, and absolutely worth it. (I think it's on YouTube, too.)
We're still in the space of comfort food, but spring is starting to come through. This dish, a lemony dill tortellini soup, is the essence of that feeling.
My friend Ellis started a podcast and asked me to be a guest! We talked about art, music, inspiration, connection and the journey of becoming and artist. And of course I took it on tangents to basketball. You can listen to the full episode here. And check out the others, too. Fun note: during this conversation we talked about More Water and I recommitted to this newsletter. Here's to a small step on the path of that commitment, third week in a row, babyyy!
A couple of songs I've been listening to lately: "Yours" by P-LO, Terrace Martin featuring Alex Isley and Robert Glasper "People Get Ready," and "Chega no Suingue" by Seu Jorge.
